A number of months ago, a long lost friend that I knew in University contacted me. Since the time that our friendship parted back then, we have gone down different paths, different lifestyles. And recently, we spoke again, and he asked me if, given everything leading to the point that I'm at now and the path I have gone down - am I truly happy? His answer to the question for himself was no. My answer was also no. It's amazing to me to think about my life as a traveller the past number of years, practicing following my inner guidance, moving with the wind and changes in season, and going where my heart desires as much as possible, yet I am not truly happy. The question stirred my heart. What was wrong, what was missing, did I make a wrong turn?
I realized in many ways I was still attracting the same circumstances into my life, reacting with the same old fears and although alot was changing on the outside - in my environment (which is essential to me), many things remained unchanged within me. A lack of harmony with myself and the natural world. In my study of herbs and health and wellbeing, I've come to understand that harmony with ourselves and the natural forces of life, and knowing when to receive and when to give, creates harmony within for the body (health), for the mind (peace) and for the soul (happiness/joy). So, my quest now, is to reconnect with Mother Nature, with the universe, with God, and to see what is it in my life that helps me to stay connected.
In Conversations with God, it's stated:
Call on me whenever you separate from the peace
that I am, I will be there, always, in all ways.
An invitation for you and me
(from the book The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (1999))
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human."
....there is more in the beginning of the book The Invitation. I hope to explore this in future posts. Come with me for the journey and explore the limitness and joy of your own soul. After all, most of what occupies our days, is not really what we came here to do.